And this is me, enjoying the internet :3
Sometimes I wish I wasn’t so kind.
I wish I didn’t let people step all over me because I want to think there’s good in them. I don’t want to be used anymore. I don’t want to be someone’s ego boost or someone’s shoulder to lean on if that’s all I’m going to be.
I wish that I could just not care.
I know “Bullying” is a big issue in our current world. I understand that it’s caused many youngsters to take their lives, and I truly bless their souls. Bullying is a horrible thing, and yes, it’s a bigger deal now that it’s allowed on the internet.
Maybe allowed isn’t the right word. But it’s certainly easily achieved, especially on anonymous websites.
But maybe we are going about “Dealing with Bullying” the wrong way.
School have assemblies telling bullies to stop, telling other people to stand up when you see it happening. But is that a reachable goal?
Humans are not perfect. and the ones that choose to be mean are going to be mean whether or not a video or a teacher tells them not to. No bully is going to stop just by being told to do so.
So why do we ask them to?
It’s like asking a drug addict to stop doing drugs. You’re not helping the situation at all, if anything you’re feeding the fire. All of these assemblies make bullying a joke. Suicide is no longer a taboo topic, people make jokes about it all the time.
Yes it makes me sick, I feel like I’m going to throw up when people make those jokes. But there’s nothing you can do to stop it. Such is life.
There are going to be people who are mean to you. There are going to be people who make you feel like you’re worthless.
Oh wait, no. That’s not how that works. The only way those words work is if you let them get to you.
So why do schools choose to show assemblies about stopping bullies? Why not, instead, talk about what to do if you are being bullied? Or how to prevent yourself from being so fragile when it comes to bullies?
Standing up to a bully in most cases gives that person the attention they want. So don’t do it.
But the real way to get away from being bullied, is to surround yourself with friends. People who adore you, and you are FRIENDS with. Meaning, you are not just taking their love for you and not giving any back, because that is a two way street (Rant topic for another day). If you surround yourselves with these people, you could never be alone. And if one of these words or actions from a bully got to you, your friends would stand with you and make sure you knew in your heart it wasn’t true.
So what should the school do?
The school should stop it’s attempts to stop bullying. As horrible as the idea sounds, these assemblies don’t do anything. Because the people that is should be reaching are sleeping or making fun of it anyway.
Or it makes people blow their own situations way out of proportion until all of their friends are “bullies” because they joke around.
So today I found a box.
A box of letters to people that I would never send. Letters I never had the guts to say. and I started to wonder what would happen if I sent them.
so I began reading…
There were so many people, and so many messages. A lot of them could be sent right now at this moment and still be relevant.
But one letter.
It still stings me almost. A letter to a boy.
Now I know what you’re thinking. “A letter to a boy, what a love letter? how pathetic. how old are you 12?”
But no. This letter wasn’t a love letter necessarily, but it was indeed a heartfelt letter. it was to a boy whom I did not know well enough to speak to.
I just want to tell him now… but I cannot do that. There’s so much to say and yet no ability to say it.
And I know that I’m going to have to see him. With all these thoughts of this one letter running through my head. and I do not know what to do.
And then it hit me,
Maybe he couldn’t believe I was over him.
Because he thought it was impossible.
Because he’s “so great” and I was into him.
But in all reality, “The feeling isn’t mutual” is the easiest way to move on.
No hard feelings. He just didn’t like me. And I accepted it.
And I moved on.
Because believe it or not, it wasn’t impossible.
Or even that hard.
When does the pain of not being loved back stop??